Definition of Cyber bullying
"Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviours using digital technologies, including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms.
Cyber bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only known to the target and the person bullying. Cyber bullying can include:
Abusive or hurtful texts emails or posts, images or videos,Deliberately excluding others online,Nasty gossip or rumours,Imitating others online."
Somewhat of a controversial subject at the moment. But , i'm going to talk about it , because i need to stop being scared to speak out. As any normal person, i'm too worried to face the person, like many others.
Before i start this blog and get to its point, let's do a little background into my journey as a nail tech.
13 years i've slogged my guts out and trained with the best people i possibly can.I left a well paid job, Ive missed lots of family times, missed out on lots of my children growing up, i've lost friends, i've given up precious moments to better myself, iv'e spent £1000s upon £1000s. I've worked ungodly hours. Im a fully qualified assessor and educator. Ive written my own courses, Ive cried , i've been frustrated and i've never given up ever....... . Until now, I've never had my place and professional integrity in this industry questioned or my ability to do my job put under scrutiny for someone else's ego and gain. Never have i ever wanted to leave this industry behind.... Until now......
So what is it thats changed, and what is it thats making me reconsider my journey in nails.
The cruel and tactless and unwanted/non necessary views and actions of others in our profession. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and thoughts , but please think about how you address them and the effects this has on that person you have targeted on your radar, regardless of your thoughts and feelings toward them. You need to make a choice on how you will get your point across in a clear concise non offensive and tactful way. There are ways to approach others with your concerns if you have them without it turning it into a witch hunt.
Im not just talking now about my story, but the countless people i see everyday at the merciless hands of people who sit behind their keyboards and try to take people down. Unnecessarily and without thought to what it's actually doing to that individual and their families .
Bullying in any form has huge repercussions for its recipient. It does not matter if this is indirect, or direct. But identifying someone as a bully is not always as easy as it sounds. The cruelty meted out by bullies can be subtle, insidious, and cloaked in the most plausible of disguises.
Ongoing bullying or isolated incidences of non bullying can cause:
· Poor concentration
· Mood changes
· Avoidance of activities
· Sleep problems
· Self esteem issues
The long term effects are colossal and no human being should ever be made to feel it.
So what can we do as professionals to try and eradicate this , how can we as professionals become more responsible for our own actions online:
· Try and stay professional , at all times, don’t air it, it only makes you as bad as the bully
· Don’t retaliate in an aggressive manner
· Take time to think, breathe, don’t reply on a whim
· Keep it off your facebook , There will always be conflicting situations throughout your life, but this platform isn’t the place to air/vocalise it. This is especially important, if your'e looked up to in your chosen industry ! It can be taken out of context and escalated into more than it was perhaps originally intended.
· If it's really bothering you, Approach that person , in a professional manner to try and sort any issues you have out of public view . Face to face,1-2-1 or mediation is better than a group/collective character assassination of that individual. Let the individual speak and have their say without an audience.
· Don’t bring someone down in public to make yourself look credible, believe me it has the absolute opposite effect and could damage your career
We all have issues with something, there are going to be people you don't like or agree with, there are going to be things that get your back up, but it's how you deal with it that shows your true professionalism.
Im not a counsellor, or a professional in this field. Im a 43 year old woman/mummy. I am human and writing this from my heart, which i'm known, to wear proudly on my sleeve. And that will never ever change, for nobody. As someone who is feeling all this right now, please know that every action has a consequence. Ones you wont see.
I am a professional and i won't air my issues publicly . But i'm hoping this reaches enough people to make a small amount of difference. Just to make people stop and think.....
If anyone is having problems there is always someone to listen. This is not just for nail techs this is for any profession or any part of life.
On that note....
"I would rather be a little somebody than a big nobody"
love Mel xxxx